Looking at the friendzone

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So my last post was about cross sexual relationships, and no matter how much you try to drum it into people minds, they don’t seem to get that you shouldn’t date your friend so I obliged and give them the basis behind the friend zone and apparently how to get out of it.

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The reason I use apparently is because according to me,I always thought that if you wanted to transition from a friend to dating,all you had to do was act like a “spy behind enemy lines”.this means,if I wanted to date a friend,all id have to do is get to know what she likes,dislikes and everything that makes her tick and then change myself to suit her….i know that is wrong since you shouldn’t change yourself,and im not a lady but I think they would like it if their male friend decided to conform to their ideal mate or a reasonable facsimile…but ill have to ask my friends that and hope I don’t get called a douche for saying that(they do that a lot,my female friends are really liberal with calling me names……I think I should start complaining…anyway I digressed)

Falling into the friend zone is almost always an accident, but unfortunately it’s an accident that’s very difficult to recover from. When someone starts using the “we” verbage, saying you are like the sibling they never had, you are for all intents and purposes screwed since you have already been placed into the friend zone. There is only one way to potentially remove yourself from the friend zone, but you must risk everything, including the platonic friendship, to make it happen.

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The only way to defeat the friend zone is never to fall into it. So why does it happen? A man falls into the friend zone:

A) Because he does not bridge the touch gap. According to Joshua pellicer, think of the touch gap like this: when you first meet a woman, there is a little crack in the ground between you. As you communicate with her without touching her, the crack grows larger until it becomes a crevice that you must leap to get over. If you continue to build rapport without touching her, it becomes a massive canyon that you can’t cross

B) Because he builds rapport at the appearance of the first, tiny glimmer of interest from a woman Men who aren’t used to thinking of themselves as attractive to women tend to be needy, and pursue women too strongly when they’ve shown only minor signs of interest. Trying to build rapport too early in an interaction is a huge error that will land you in the friend zone.

When you meet a random girl, she is not judging you based on your looks; she judges you based on how you’re acting. If, from the very beginning, you act like you touch a lot, she will accept that that’s a part of your personality. It’s just who you are. She will think of you in the same way that she thinks of a man who is from a culture that frequently physically engages with other people.

Let’s begin with attraction. Attraction, again, is the phase in which you build curiosity. As you probably remember, the first stage within attraction is introduction, the time in which someone first becomes aware of your existence. Here have a light hand, be gentle, don’t move too quickly, and especially, don’t linger. Keep the touch to between 1-3 seconds. Touch only the shoulders, triceps and upper back area. Touching other areas and lingering make you seem sleazy…and if the girl doesn’t mind being touched in any place then that’s not the kind of girl you want…..that or you will have to pay her at the end of the night if you get my drift.

During rapport, you have stopped bantering and have become very real in an effort to establish an emotional connection with a woman. Touches should be both lingering and understanding. Whereas touch during attraction can only last 1-3 seconds, a touch during rapport can last for 4-7 seconds. The guidelines for where to touch during this phase depend on whether you are standing or sitting. When sitting, touching knees is acceptable, as is interlocking fingers when things become more intimate. While standing, the small of a woman’s back can be touched. It’s also possible, if you move slowly have built a great deal of trust, and are nearing the seduction phase, to touch the hair, neck, and face during rapport.

Touch during seduction is more aggressive and sexual. Be firm, but also be sensual. The difference between sensual and sexual is simple: the word “sexual” refers to sex, while the word “sensual” refers to one’s senses. Move your hand around a woman’s body to heighten her senses (and your own as well). This will allow her to focus on emotions that will aid in the seduction process.

During attraction, a woman will begin to touch you in return if you are touching her properly. You might notice an increase in random touches on your shoulder, or she might high-five you back. In the phase of rapport, lean back and study the woman’s body language. Did she lean forward? If she did, she’s sending you another positive

Signal. Humans tend to lean towards each other while building rapport in a literal attempt to bridge the gap between them and build a stronger connection. You’ll know you’re effectively building rapport if she continues to do this even when you lean back or break physical contact with her. When you’re in seduction, a woman is indicating interest if she faces you with her hips when you touch her, especially if she places her hips against you.

 

You’ll know you’ve failed to touch a woman properly if she:

A) Removes herself from the interaction by walking away

B) Turns her back on you, especially during rapport or seduction

C) Takes your hand off her.

A good rule to live by was “Remove your hand before she removes it.” Use your peripheral vision to keep an eye on her hands at all times. Whenever she starts moving them in a way that you think indicates that she might be about to remove your hand, take your hand off her immediately, take a step back, and keep talking. Don’t look at your hand while you do this – in fact, don’t ever look at your hands while you’re touching. Lots of guys do this, and it ruins the atmosphere of their touches.

Stay tuned for the next post.

à la prochaine
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