Being Single

What happened to the days when you could say you were single and people would envy you? Nowadays you tell people you are single and they look at you with that…look-at-that-loser look…and in my case they actual do say that out loud…but my friends only, nobody else has the audacity to call me a loser(at least not to my face)it seems that the whole world has become enthralled with the idea of being  a couple, never mind that almost half the people in relationships are cheating but what matters is they can associate as part of a romantic pair.


This is also seen in the musical numbers being churned out by the day, what happened to the happy to be single songs? I don’t mean like Jason Derulo’s  ridin’ solo (that was not a man celebrating being single, it was a man wishing he was still in a relationship).I absolutely love Mirrors by Justin Timberlake but I wish there was a less depressing song a single person like me could sing to and not feel like I should be curled up in the fetal position with a ton of ice cream crying. My friend, who is recently single, recently being 3 days, just told me that all love songs are depressing…why do we associate with a certain kind of music when we are in different states? I think we should listen to all love songs and be indifferent even after a break up after all it’s not like we were was dating the one who is singing or the song isn’t about us (unless you happen to have dated Taylor swift, or Adele, then you are well and truly screwed).but this helps expound my idea on needing less depressing songs. I think Macklemore and Lewis had a good idea with the thrift shop jam, now that’s a good song, even a poor person who cannot afford designer wear can jam to this and feel empowered.


These days it feels like I’m engaging in a lot of conversations that involve the words dry spell. Getting some, lonely and more dramatic ones like, use it or lose it. There is nothing wrong with being celibate. Recently I attended a church service where the pastor said that as society progresses. The trend is getting worrying; the single people are having more than the married ones sex and with more partners. According to me, this can all be blamed on women.

it used to be the men who were “chasing tail “to use a crude reference but now the tables have turned and women also ventured into the  foray. As a man, you are always expected to try to score with a lady, and in the olden days we could always rely on the ladies to shoot you down and thus the rampant sex wasn’t as evident as it is now. These days the numbers of girls who shoot men down are dwindling by the day. Also the women now feel empowered enough to walk up to a man and suggest casual sex with a straight face. Don’t get me wrong, I think this is a good thing. I thought it would turn me on to no end when a lady did that to me, but oh the naivety of youth.


The first time that happened to me I was very flattered thinking, I must be all  sorts of adorable to have someone as hot as her suggest casual sex and I got a huge ego boost(which my friends will say I did not need since I am my own biggest fan) however at some point it becomes old. Unfortunately men really do want the thrill of the chase, even the lazy ones like me. The stupidly constructed adage  ‘why buy the cow when you are getting the milk for free’ meaning that men wouldn’t date a lady who sleeps with them while not in a relationship, never mind that these same men say you are uppity when you refuse to sleep with them, thus my parting shot on this is, you can never please  everybody no matter how hard you try, so give up trying and just do what makes you happy, if you want to hold on to it why not, if you want to exorcise your sexual demons outside a relationship, still why not, it’s a free country, for those men and women who judge others since they can’t understand why they do what they do and use terms like slut,whore,loose,go to hell, that’s that.


If you are single quit fretting about lack of a partner, just keep doing you, don’t put your life on pause waiting for someone, do whatever makes you happy and  make yourself a better you .find some new hobbies, and use every relationship as a lesson, never let the next relationship get the same person you were in the previous one…the reason I say this is because for a long time I believed I was God’s gift to women, thinking I was the best boyfriend in the world since I’m a romantic and all, but reality check time, I realized I was a pompous ass and this belief that I was a good boyfriend was causing the end of my relationships since I always assumed the ladies were the problem. I can be a bit annoying and have larger than life expectations sometimes but I’ve learnt that to be happy learn to have low expectations and thus you will never be disappointed and lastly learn to accept people as they are don’t judge anyone because you do not understand them, be open to new things and get out of your comfort zone, do that and you will be happier than you have been, and this I say from experience.


But at this age where we are all worried because we are supposed to be looking for partners because our biological clocks are ticking, and yes even men are included. but i just think that if you believe you will get the special person meant for you. Leave the happy couples you see,you don’t know what skeletons are in their closets plus,there’s a reason and a season for everything. use this time to enjoy yourself because one day you will be in a relationship and you will wish you were single or at least wish you had some great memories from when you were single.

Being single doesn’t mean you are weak, it means you are strong enough to wait for what you deserve and t doesn’t mean you know nothing about love, it’s just wiser than being in a fake relationship.

à la prochaine






One Response to “Being Single”

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